ni wode nu'er (you are my daughter)

the road to yuanling got much worse. chinese driving is quite the thing to behold. it's almost like a dance. whether driving a 200 lb scooter or a 20 ton people mover the drivers weave in and out of one another with an amazing grace. we had lots of grace on our 10 hour trip into the mountains. i'm not the kind to get car sick but there was one point there where i was glad to be stopped. it was bad. road side gas stations are interesting, too. i'll try to get a picture of the toilet on the way home. i don't know if it's because of the olympics, massive expansion, or what but they are rebuilding much of the national road we were on. on level, straight-ish sections this creates a mildly energizing and entertaining experience not unlike a trip to six flags. on a curved mountain road it grinds everything to a halt. a road that barely holds 1 truck attempts to become a three lane highway as drivers squeeze in and out among the massive piles of construction materials dropped in various places on the road. and then everyone stops. we were stopped, wedged window to window with another people mover, except it was full of chinese people, for well over an hour. there are no traffic cops to help you in a situation like this. it's whom ever's opinion rings the loudest wins. in this case it was a nicer dressed gal with a red purse.

we started moving again and then the bus started to die. it'd had been a hard day for the poor guy. but, like i said before, the A/C worked the whole time. all i am worried about is we have to take the same bus back tomorrow, on the same road, with screaming babies. oh, yeah, screaming babies. don't get ahead of me. so we finally make it to yuanling. it's a nice little city. pretty happenin' place. no mcdonalds that i've seen but happenin' none the less. being two hours late we get to the hotel in pandemonium. the mayor of the city has been waiting for us at the orphanage all this time. it's a mad dash to our rooms. most of us are on the same floor of an adjacent building to a good size hotel that probably hasn't been fully occupied in a decade. we have no keys to our rooms. the attendant just unlocks every room on the floor and each family picks a room. there really is no time to do anything because the mayor is waiting for us. the room is on par with a bottom rung motel 6. except it's chinese. and it wreaks of smoke so much my eyes burn. wondering if our stuff is safer on the bus or in this room we have no key for we hastily grab the cameras and shut the door behind us.

there is a massive hill leading up to the orphanage, the driver almost attempts to take the bus up there but wisely changes his mind. we jump out and begin walking up the road. amy has been passed out most of the afternoon having stayed up all night. i litterally have to drag her up in her chair to get her moving just to get our stuff into the hotel. she's still groggy when we hop out to hike up to the orphanage so we're at the back of the group. there's this massive cacophony as the front of the group rounds the bend. drums. and cymbals. a lot of them. lining both sides of the street is this massive band entirely of older women all dressed the same. kinda like the shriners, except they have drums not little cars and their chinese and their women. there were big drums, small drums, crashing cymbals. beautiful. i was choked up. why all this fuss for us? a social welfare institute is a combo senior citizens home and orphanage. all the older folks' apartments line the road so they were all out to see us walk in. being in remote, mountainous china this kind of thing doesn't happen that often so we quickly drew a good size crowd. it was elaborate. it was amazing. the mayor was supposed to come out and address the whole crowd (we found out later) but morgan ushered us into the building before he could talk. so he addressed us in the dining room. not the same political punch he had hoped for but many pictures were taken anyway. must be an election year.

the meal was elaborate. i stuck to the fried rice. good stuff. tried the ribs. not bad. the strange clear fungus water stuff, had a bite. that was enough. the bread was good. didn't try the green bean drink. or the fruit flavored milk/yogurt. i even ate some cabbage. amy said i was eating like a good big boy. everyone had a can of budweiser at their setting (canned in yaunling). the mayor toasted us in chinese and we all quick opened our cans so we could have some cheers. they brought out more bud during the meal, too. but, as amazingly thoughtful as all this was and quite the cross-cultural/political good will-edness of the whole experience we weren't here for that. and you're not still reading this for that either. where were the girls?

after the meal the girls were brought to each family alphabetical by state. being with a CO based agency put us toward the back of the bunch. now this was pandemonium. foster parents, new parents, screaming baby girls - who were all dressed identically in pig tails. we got one short hour with them and then the girls went back home to their foster parents. we catch up with them in the morning before heading back to changsha. when we introduced ourselves to director zhao - who seems like a really great woman. a get it done kinda gal. i'm proud that my daughter spent the first 11 months in her care. so, when we introduced ourselves to her and that we are zhao mei wen's parents she said, oh! and mimicked large cheeks. funny. so they call out joy's chinese name, our name, and in through the door, held by her foster mom and dad trailing close by comes our chubby little joy. the foster mom hands her immediately to amy. joy immediately freaks out. joy goes back to foster mommy. she calms down. we say thank you thank you. foster mom gives her back. joy freaks out. foster mom motions for us to take her into the other room. put some distance there. amy and i took turns holding her for 20 minutes or so joy screaming the whole time.

joy is beautiful. feisty. strong willed. strong. she arches her back when she's mad and tries to get out of your arms. her hair was cute. all the girls were in matching dresses. wow. and she's a good screamer, too. foster mom and dad came and found us. we gave them their gift, they gave us one, too. hand made, minority chinese style, shoe inserts. i tried to talk in chinese a little bit to them, where is their daughter, etc. but they speak real chinese. i speak fake chinese. fake is much slower and unintelligible to real speakers. and i'm not that versed in fake chinese either. joy knows the difference as well. i tried telling her i love her. she screamed. after foster mommy had her and she had finally calmed down i tell her in fake chinese that she is my daughter. she paused. considered. translated. and burst in to huge tears and screams. the foster parents and i got a good laugh out of that one.

so, off to a good start it was time to give the girls back and head to the motel 6, except chinese. motel liu. we were both in a daze. a funk. stunned. tired. drained. like deer in headlights. the room still wreaked of smoke. i have to manually flush the toilet by pulling the stopper in the back of the tank. there is no shower just a rubber mat on the floor next to the toilet and above a metal pipe. we finally passed out. at 10pm there is much noise and honking on the street outside. at 4am we're both awake and i'm typing this out. it'd be great if we could just leave now. our room has more in common with what i picture a jail to be like. we're locked in our rooms (still no keys, we can leave but can't get back in). there are bars on the windows. the toilet/stall thing. out of toilet paper and the manual flush. and as we talked at 4am a huge cockroach trailed by to see if we had anything good to eat. i have him on tape if you'd like to meet him.

time to wrap up. i'll maybe fall back asleep but amy is on my bed and i'm pretty certain the roach has snuggled into amy's. it's still another 2.5 hours before we leave. maybe i'll watch napoleon dynamite and make sure mr. roach doesn't cross over into our half of the room. all in all, an amazing trip. several times on the bus i just laughed. did i mention we were even listening to john denver singing take me home country road, too? just an amazing trip. we don't officially become joy's parents until tomorrow morning. the orphanage staff is riding with us back to changsha. i think we'll have joy for the ride. if she'll have us. she spends the night with us tonight. tomorrow morning we pretend to meet her for the first time and then, she is ours. whether she likes it or not. i'm hoping by tonight she can at least stand to be around us without screaming. i might just stick to english, too. i feel for the foster parents. joy has been loved. they had one last night with her and then she's gone. we'll have to keep joy in touch with her chinese grandma and grandpa somehow. wow. this has got to be one of the strangest ways to get a kid.
one thing at a time. first - keep peace with the cockroach. second - back to orphanage for breakfast, see the city and hopefully the place joy was found. third - bus ride back to changsha. that's plenty. i'll worry about how to raise my chinese daughter later. thanks for reading this far. hopefully i can get some pictures posted. much love.