Four Legged Personal Trainer

so the purple clawed canine has been my personal trainer the last week or so. at first it was very difficult. it's like she has an extra set of legs on me and it requires more effort on my part to keep pace. this morning, though, she was actually slacking off. could be all the food she stole off the counter last night - she had horrendous gas. even so, that's not a bad thing (the slacking off, not the gas). she almost killed me the other morning.

she has this nasty habit of chasing cars. don't know what she would do if she ever caught one. so coming around the bend, heading toward home, me wheezing and gasping for breath, a truck pulls onto the road just ahead of us. she figured her chances of a kill were pretty good and took off. my legs were too rubbery to actually put a stop to her and my brain was too oxygen deprived to think to let go of the leash. all i could do was keep leaping into the air, letting physics carry my body forward and rapidly repeat the process each time gravity pulled me toward the sidewalk again. i desperately tried to yell her name but the lungs had commandeered all the air. fortunately, it ended well enough. she didn't catch the truck. my face didn't catch the concrete. eventually she had mercy on me and stopped. after wheezing a bit more, we walked the rest of the way home.